You know my name, not my story

Assalamualaikum.

I've been busy lately, first exam baru habis, and I'm still on my way utk try habiskan semua order cupcakes/cakes org, Alhamdulillah but still I don't have a chance to write this blog and now ada new apps we called Dayre macam diary so everytime atas bas balik Uni, aku just tulis dekat situ.

Dulu, before aku datang Jordan, aku cakap dekat Kaktin, macam mana lah hidup dengan orang yang background totally different from aku, yela diorang (bakal kawan kawan) baik, aku ni dah lah loud macam ni, pastu pakaian pun cukup sekadar habiskan syarat tutup aurat je. Pastu Kak Tin cakap "Kalau diorang betul betul baik, diorang takkan judge kau macam tu, tapi kalau kau dengar je ada yg cakap macam tu, maksudnya sama je diorang dengan kau"

Terbuktilah kawan kawan aku dekat Intec dulu memang baik macam malaikat lah. Diorang never ever judge aku pakai macam mana (if you know how I dressed up during Intec) diorang just macam "Unik lah style Hannah pakai tudung", "Eee kalau kita pakai macam ni mesti tk jadi macam Hannah pakai" tapi bila aku pakai jubah/abaya/baju kurung/tudung bawal nanti diorang akan puji macam "Wah Hannah Nampak lain lah, nampak simple, nampak macam doktor baru grad" something like that, so I feel blessed to have them. aku pun faham diorang macam mana, so sebab taknak ada gap, I started to dress simple after that.

Ntah lah somehow aku nak tulis pasal repeat year ni. Like if you are not from Dominence (my new batch = Dome+Eminence) aku memang takkan sembang pasal repeat year dengan korang. Cause I cant, ill burst into tears, kalau borak dengan orang same situation ni, dia lagi faham and aku macam kuat lah nak cerita apa apa.

You see, this repeat year thing, is a very sensitive topic. Don't simply "Lah padanlah batch diorang tu banyak sangat buat program, nak attention konon, kan dah ramai tercicir" // "Batch tu memang sombong, kalau program persatuan taknak join, padahal bukan score pun" or anything kaitan dengan batch. Macam kakak aku cakap, kalau kau betul betul baik, kau tak judge orang cakap orang tak baik. and if you are reallllllllllllly clever, YOU WOULDNT TALK THIS CRAP.

Like seriously I cant brain this, aku rasa macam very sad kalau ada yg cakap macam ni. Jangan kaitkan this issue with my batch. Like for me, they did their best to help us. Kau tak tahu cerita selok belok repeat ni then you shut up. Kau tahu tak ada budak kena repeat just sebab 2 marks even tak fail any subjects? Ada yang fail year just only because doktor taknak keep the original result, ada yang fail sebab University buat system baru tiba tiba tak boleh carry subject even tahun lepas lepas lepas takde masalah pun nak carry subject? Ada yang rugi 500jd trip to Europe sebab terpaksa ambil exam, but takde rezeki. Ada yang first year muaddal lebih 80% You don't know, and im sure you don't even care.

You wanna talk about happy to me? Kau tengok aku senyum dekat kau, aku senyum dalam gambar, then my whole life is happy? That 2seconds of smiling is enough to judge im happy? Aku terima dengan selamba je benda ni? Ill cry whenever terserempak with my batchmates nak pergi class. Before mi aku yang akan greet everyone time masuk lecture hall. Now I tend to, guna jalan lain ke apa just tknk terserempak dgn diorang. Sebab ntah lah for me I should b there, balik sama sama, borak lecture apa dah keluar, lab minggu ni penat gila or so on.

Tapi somehow aku bersyukur aku involve with almost everything dulu, aku jarang gila ponteng unless im sick, never skipped study group, extra class kalau kena time, aku pergi. So aku macam happy jugaklah aku gunakan time second year aku betul betul. Aku taknak cakap pasal apa yg lead to takmili papers and so on, just aku boleh cakap, memang kena paksa diri. Kalau kau tak faham doktor cakap dalam arab, kau bukak buku, takyah depends dekat lecture notes, dengan English tunggang langgang, so aku rasa freak out and itulah resultnya.

Dominence ni dah dua kali jugak buat gathering, so bila borak borak balik, kau akan macam nampak benda tu sebenarnya salah, but kau rasa its a small matter, so kau tak peduli, Contohlah, you need a proper sleep, proper time, proper place to study, kalau sejuk sikit tk boleh, dah nak pukul 12pg tk boleh takut ngantuk lah. Tu semua mind set. Like seriously, go and change. We are future doctors (InsyaAllah) I mean I rather have to study balik benda yang aku tak faham, daripada aku masuk klinikal nanti terkial kial doctor Tanya kalau aku study sekadar nak pass.

I dont remember Syahmi or Khumayni but they said something like "Kita ni jangan bawak masuk study dalam kehidupan kita, tapi kehidupan kita dalam study tu" and once I remember someone said "Bertawakal macam tak pernah berusaha & Berusaha macam tak pernah bertawakal" But Ijoy & Syahmi are like true hero kot now aku happy for them & Alhamdulillah ada diorang as a leader for Medic & Dentist so aku rasa kena cepatlah bangkit and walk with them, kononnya luls.

Ceh dari aku menulis sambil menangis, dah boleh gelak pulak hahaha. This is why express your feelings is very important okay. Usually aku akan cerita dekat member rapat tapi ni kang dari cerita tesedu sedu baik aku tulis blog. Bagus jugak tension ni baru lah nak baca quran sampai berhelai helai terus kan teruknyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aku ni kbai.

  

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